perfect thursday

Some days everything just lines up perfectly

I've been working on this trick for far longer than I would like to admit, and finally tonight was the night I was given the okay to catch it.
I caught my layout during the first attempt-- you can hear me legit squeal with delight. added bonus? the theme tonight was summery beach party, so I am rocking a bikini while catching my layout.

incredible end to what was already a great thursday, I'm still shaking from the shock and adrenaline of actually catching this trick !
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I attended a convention hosted by Equinox for current and future personal trainers. I am deeply considering attending one of their academies for either personal training or group fitness, and on either the east coast or west coast.


My personality has a tendency to be obsessive. I go through phases with hobbies, boys, interests, clothing, tv shows, broadway shows .... and then lose interest or get what I want and move on.

I still love trapeze, especially after nights like tonight where hard work pays off, but when I first started I was head over heels in love with the sport and talked about it every chance I got, watched youtube videos every spare moment and felt like a crack addict waiting for my fix from each trapeze class.

This happened with American Idiot after the first time I saw it, this happened with Green Day, this happened with the TV show Roseanne, this happened with In the Heights, this happened with Rent, and this happened with every boy I ever had a crush on. It fills my mind and it is all I can think about while the obsession is fresh, and then I find the next and move on.

I fear that my current obsession with exercise, fitness, and healthy living will fizzle out in a similar fashion to those other obsessions. While working out will most likely always be a big part of my life, I won't want to talk about it and discuss it as much as I currently do.
This makes me worried that if I do decide to pursue a career in training others, I will get over this obsession and lose interest in changing the world one work out at a time?

I expressed this concern to my mom-- what if I lose interest? She, being the incredible and supportive mama that she is, said "so what, you find your next passion"
Granted this obsession didn't just start--- I always love dancing, I used to have a whole ab regimen that I did every night in high school and I always loved the medical fields. But this current state of obsession-- following various blogs religiously, planning out my work out week, trying to eat better, and spreading my love of sweating with everyone who is willing to talk about it, might fizzle out.

how do you know when it is more than just "lust", more than a "crush". its similar to when you have a crush on a guy, and he finally likes you back, and you then simply lose interest. will I lose interest? or is this the path I've secretly been heading towards.

... and more importantly, how does theater fit into this? I've spent my whole life in love with musical theater, and more passionate about it than anything else I have ever encountered. When do you know though that it is time to give up those dreams that you've had since you were 5 and move onto something that makes more sense?
Can I have both?
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well thats my mini senior freak out of the day. I like to think this is what all 21 years feel like on the verge of graduating college.

despite all of this wondering, still a pretty perfect thursday. now I just have to figure out how to come down from this adrenaline high and get some sleep before my 8:30AM dance class

getting my 7AM Sweat on: Things I never thought I'd say

6:15 AM my alarm goes off.
Is this an accident? a terrible mistake when I was setting my alarm?
Nooooope. I sorta wish.
This is my "time to sweat" alarm. I am actually going to get up and go to the gym while it is still dark out. When did I become this crazy?????
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One day over winter break, I had the brilliant idea to become a morning exerciser. In the various fitness blogs I read, bloggers always talk about waking up super early, working out and feeling fabulous for the rest of the day. So I decided, hey, I can do that too. and o-m-g, crunch offers some classes at that god awful hour.
Winter break was the baby steps to this brilliant idea-- if I can wake up at 8:30AM every single day all break to drive 20 minutes away to the gym when those were my only plans for the day, I can totes wake up at 6:15AM, walk 2 blocks, and work out before an action packed college day.
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Have I been successful in these first 2 weeks of school? Yes, and well no.
But I HAVE made it to one 9:30AM Cardio Groove, one 7AM conditioning, and TWO (YES TWO) 7AM yoga classes. Thats like, more yoga that I've done like ever, and all at 7 AM.
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Do I feel fabulous after waking up super early and working out? I'm gettin' there! I am surprised at the fact that I don't feel tired considering I woke up while it was still dark, and while some college kids are still procrastinating on facebook. I am shocked at how much I have enjoyed the early morning yoga class-- I generally detest yoga, but this teacher and his style really work for me, and cause me a minimal amount of wrist and joint pain. I leave there feeling awesome, and oh so ready for starbucks chai and 9AM dance class.

conditioning at 7AM was a bit more of a struggle and shock to my body, but I still got a good work out. Since I had woken up so early, it also gave me loads of time to take a shower, actually look like a functional person for class, AND go food shopping at Whole Foods when the line was short--- all before a full day of classes followed by a broadway show at night
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Conclusion? It is early in the semester still, but I'm lovin' this early morning sweating. It is a great way to kick start my day, and it free up my night. If i have rehearsal, or tickets to see a show, or life gets in the way at night, its all good-- cuz I already sweated it out in the morning.

A bonus? its rather peaceful and lovely to see manhattan eerily quiet, and motivating to see Union Square Crunch bustling with energy from other crazies like me

Senior Spring

senior spring: a quest for happiness, avoiding senioritis, attempting to eat healthy, striving to stay active... and most importantly figuring out what do you do with a BFA in theater
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it's absolutely crazy, Monday was my last first day of school. Aspects of college have gone by so fast, yet other parts feel so long ago-- almost like it wasn't my life because I'm so far removed from it. While a part of me is terrified of the "real world" I have been told horror stories about, this other part of me is so very ready to graduate and be done with college.

All break I answered the dreaded question about what's next. I always feel so self conscious answering that question as if people are judging my dreams and aspirations on the spot. There are a lot of paths and ideas that I currently have and frequently discuss with my parents to make sure I'm not crazy. There are a million things I want to do with my life-- live in a state that is not new york, live somewhere warm, travel, become a certified group fitness trainer, work for a gym, make my broadway debut, get paid to act, get a masters degree.
I am only 21 and honestly, i think I can accomplish a decent amount of the above. At this moment I am just unsure of the order to go about it.

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It's the beginning of a new semester, and my last semester and I've set up some goals for myself and things I want to change in my last semester-- habits I want to instill before the "real world", and things that will hopefully make me far more functional

become one of those people that exercises in the morning
The reasoning behind this is more than just being cruel to myself. No one can schedule a rehearsal or a meeting at 7AM. If i can get one work out in before school, then its okay if something gets in the way after.

So far I am trying super super hard. Monday I don't start class until later, so taking "cardio groove" at 9:30 wasn't a struggle. Tuesday my bed was far too warm and cozy to think of leaving it at 6:15AM. Today I shocked myself and got out of my warm bed at 6:15AM for YOGA... yoga of all exercises. I hate yoga! i hate waking up early! but the combo actually worked-- after taking the hour long yoga class I was super warmed up and ready for my 9AM dance class. I've also felt really awake all day which is shocking considering I left my apartment before the sun was up. It's a start!

keep my apartment stocked with healthy foods
if there are fresh, healthy options for snacks, then I will eat these healthy options. I'm starting off small-- stocked my fridge with apples, hummus, baby spinach, strawberries and yummy salad dressings. I've accepted that I will never feel comfortable cooking, and especially not in my teeny tiny kitchen, but there are simple things I can prepare for myself that are also good for me.

So far I've been on top of thinking about all my meals and making good decisions-- not just resorting to carb heaven for every single meal. Have lots of fruits and hummus in my fridge has made snacking much easier and guilt free.

stop eating peanut butter out of the jar
it's simple, but a thoughtful way to change the way I eat. I can eat peanut butter in a sandwich or with veggies all I want, but no more sticking a spoon in there. So far, so good.

actually stay on top of my work
like all college students, I love to procrastinate, and I particularly love to procrastinate by treating myself to broadway shows and spending the night at the gym taking every fitness class offered. I will do everything in my power to do work before it is done, and memorize things well in advanced for class

read more
the stack of New York Magazine currently littering my kitchen counter needs to be read. Also, the growing list of books I've wanted to read

and lastly blog
I don't know why I'm fascinated by blogs, but I have been for awhile. Over winter break I got addicted to following various fitness and food related blogs. Am I particularly oh so brilliant and fascinating that people need to read about my life? Meh.
but at the very least I want to track my senior spring and my plunge into "the real world". In addition to my self centered reasoning there are other people out there- people who are terrified of their kitchen and raw chicken, people who are obsessed with group fitness class,  people who are addicted to peanut butter, college students trying to stay healthy, and of course musical theater lovers.

to the beginning of the end
end of the beginning.
whatever that means.